I apologize to the dedicated fans of this blog, but I’ve gone through a lot of personal shit that prevented me from regularly posting to this site (WAAAAAAH, MY LIFE IS TOUGH!, WAAAAAH).  With Artie going nuts, I’m sure there will be more Ralph calls, as there’s no one to shit on him when he does call. 

I (Matt) will be posting more regularly during and after the vacation.  A special thanks to dylan555 for pitching in, despite his own personal stuff going on!

Cheers,
Matt

So as well all know by now, Artie exploded today.  Totally exploded.  Someone suggested that Ralph be the one to keep Artie from suicide.  Ralph, in classic fashion had to “go to the dentist” in two hours.  Chaos abounds on the show. 

On a side note, Save Baby Gorilla seems to be suspended.

I loved how Ralph called in yesterday during the Henry Hill interview to compare Henry’s almost begging for booze to Artie eating too many cupcakes and drinking too much Hi-C.   What about Artie’s addicition to coke, heroin, and alcohol?? I sure hope if I ever need an intervention that my friends are half as astute as Ralph.  Way to go!

I love that Howard imitates the Brady celebreality Valentine’s gift to Beth O and has pictures that the viewers sent in of him and Ralph.  I was surprised there was no witty Ralph call.

Also, nice job by Crazy Alice to take a few shots at Ralph for no reason in her latest voicemail.

Is it just me or have the number of Ralph calls declined?  Or at the very least, he doesn’t seem to be stirring up the shit like he was for a while.

What about Ralph in Artie’s chair for a day when he calls in heroin sick?

It was funny listening to Gary twist in the wind about being bored in Vegas.  I can sympathize with Gary though, because if you don’t want to lose all your money and you’re alone, there are times where you can get restless.  I love, though, how Ralph (the man with no job) calls in and gives Gary shit.  If he had gone out there with Artie, he would have been bitching and moaning that Artie left him alone.  WAAA!  At least Gary just said he was bored and tried.

My question is, how can Ralph not be bored more often?  What does that Berry-faced bastard do all day?  I bet he’s out there playing D&D all day.  If you’re his dungeon master, please write in.

Thank you to Howard for putting Ralph the Idiot and Eric the Midget Ungrateful Piece of Shit on the air at the same time.  Ralph seems to have found a new talent in taunting that silly little freak.  Let’s hope it doesn’t go to his head.

I’ve heard three mentions of Ralph in the last few days of listening to the show in the morning and catching replays on the way home:

1)  Ralph is wondering whether or not he should get the Berry removed.  I don’t think Ralph was on the line for this discussion, but Howard and the rest talked about it.  Should he remove his trademark or keep it?

2) Ralph does deserve some credit for Howard’s outfit on Letterman.  Howard looked pretty sharp (though his hair is doing weird stuff lately).  Howard 100 News interviews him about this during one of the newsbreaks.

3) Ralph shit all over the new Terminator TV show this morning.  I have to agree with Howard that it was pretty good and Ralph doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

There is the Ralph sighting report for Monday and Tuesday.  Maybe he can spice up the Eric the Midget calls this week like he did one day last week.

I’m curious as to what are everyone’s favorite (or least favorite depending on your opinion of Ralph) moments of the year.  Personally I’m a fan of whenever he calls in and gets exasperated by Eric the Midget the Actor the Writer.  I also love the entire Hampton’s fiasco.

Ralph called in to the show to share his “List” for why Richard’s such a loser.  The points are as follows:

• He lives like an animal (in complete filth)
• Richard used to live in a storage unit (for 8 years, to be exact)
• He runs around Naked, Drunk, and Stupid
• Richard’s “…like Rain Man, he’s hyper-focused!”
• He’s all “Pasty, White & Blotchy…like retards”
• Artie chimed in: “You Shit Your Pants!” Note: So did Artie
  
• Robin commented, of course: “Did you go to school at all?”

Finally, Richard defends himself by saying: “Life is short, you could be gone tomorrow…” While that IS a great point Richard, you could at LEAST clean up, don’t you think? I ask…Richard may stink (and loves elves) but Richard DOES work for a living (unlike Ralph).  Who’s more worthless, Richard or Ralph?